I love me…

Okay, I apparently lost my password to log into my control panel, so I can’t upload the adorable little picture that is supposed to go with this post, but I encourage you to go see it on Hilly’s site. While you’re there, read her post of self-love… it’s very good.

So I am supposed to name one thing I love about myself, and then ask you to name one thing you love about me… which is hard for me to do, but that’s partly why I took on this little challenge of Hilly’s. It’s good for me to step outside my comfort zone once in while!

Okay, so… here’s what I love about me.

I am a warm, sensitive, caring person. It is freakish, really, considering the enviornment I grew up in. My family is not full of warm, fuzzy types… and yet, from a very early age, I was a cuddly, snuggly type. My mom always said it just took a certain look to let me know I was in trouble, and then I was extremely sad. She also says I was rarely “bad” anyway…

It’s this nurturing nature of mine that makes me so badly want to be a mom… it’s because of this that I believe I will be a good mother, despite the “issues” I still have to work on (and still plan to!). It’s this nature that makes me miss friends who didn’t exactly treat me all that great - not because I want to tolerate that sort of treatment, but because I understand the reasons behind it. It’s because I won’t allow myself to be treated poorly that these few people are no longer part of my life… but that doesn’t mean I can’t see past the bad qualities that ended our friendship and know the person I cared about is still there. Does that even make sense???

Basically, it’s like my former friend Skye, whom I’ve posted about extensively. I know she’s kicked her husband out, and they are likely getting divorced. She treated me like crap towards the end of our friendship, but I still can’t stop wondering how she’s making out through all this… and wishing she’d have been able to let me in, instead of feeling like she needed to shut me out. I don’t obsess over it… but I do sometimes wonder, and I feel sad for her. While this quality has the potential to be negative (the truth is, she wasn’t a very good friend for a while, but I excused the behavior until she crossed a line I just felt was intolerable), I think overall it’s a good one… even if it sometimes makes me sad. But that’s part of it, I don’t hide from my emotions, and I’d rather know the truth about any given situation than be in the dark about it… no matter how hard to accept or deal with.

So… that’s my favorite good quality.